1. |
Miracle
04:57
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The name Miracle has followed her around her whole life.
Born to sterilized parents who vanished one night.
Got a tattoo, says “Meanness,” inside her lower lip.
She pulls it down in the mirror so she can read it.
Framed by her blonde wig in the bright white glow.
Spit crawls down her wrist and she lets her lip go.
She smokes out her window watching the sunset
Behind the figures of bending trees.
While her collection of broken wind chimes
Play wild drones in minor keys.
They see her in The Cheetah on the weekday nights.
They see her and they dream of young versions of their wives.
She saved up for some braces, all the ones and the fives.
Her teeth are straightening out now and sore all the time.
Hands reach out for her like she’ll cure disease.
She bats her eyes and makes them say “Please.”
“Meanness,” she thinks.
Round the pole. Spinning. Heavy breathing.
“Meanness,” she thinks.
Sore mouth. Pouting. Blowing kisses.
“Meanness,” she sings.
Skinny legs. Kicking. Flailing.
“Meanness,” she sings.
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2. |
Heat Lightning
03:25
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Clouds flash up ahead.
Just heat lighting, he thinks.
No rain for the flames.
Death rides at night in a copper Pinto.
Candy in the glove box where a revolver would go.
His bones are trapped in greasy fat and he’s
Shaking as he laughs at
Jokes about the weather and news from the fire at the mill.
Letting parched mosquitoes drink their fill
Between his knuckles on the wheel while he
Laughs like baby pigs squeal.
Pale eyes, huge, behind thick glasses.
Speeding through lights, turning green as he passes.
Says, “Weathermen are worse than those tarot card teens.
They can’t explain every little thing.
I don’t care what they say, ain’t gonna rain.
Fires aren’t made just to be tamed.”
Death pulls off to piss in a patch of dry weeds.
Aiming at every lightning bug he sees.
Hears a creature crying from a ditch, you know
Death just can’t resist it.
He looks at all the models on the billboards going by.
Thinking of X’s in their eyes.
He smiles at his wandering mind while he’s
Glowing in the moonlight.
The radio turns to static.
He sticks his hand out the window
And winces at the first drops of rain.
Says, “Weathermen are worse than those palm reading freaks.
They can’t explain every little thing.
I don’t care what they say about the rain.
It’s not stopping in a day–ain’t no way.
It’s not gonna end till every coffin’s swimming.”
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3. |
Sing Me to the Street
04:19
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I keep thinking
Shifting in my sleep.
Sirens in the distance
Sing me to the street
And I go
See what’s in the air.
Probably nothing.
Train’s leaving.
I catch it just in time.
And the vomit
Riding with me
Crawls in a sickle-shaped design
Towards my feet.
I take it as a sign
It’s saying–
You will go
I know
You will go away
I’ll go away
But it’s nothing.
The show’s empty
Except that guy I always see.
He creeps up and asks me
If I’ve heard what’s happening
And I say,
“I don’t care at all.
Hopefully nothing.”
He says,
“You know Cole was murdered
Just about one year back.
Well, Claire had their baby
And tonight she drowned it in the bath,
Saying: ‘Death will find us all.’”
I say, “Fuck, man”
You will go
Just go
You will go away
Just go away
You will go
Leave me alone
You will go away
Just go away
Want to hear nothing
Standing in the deli light
I duck into the deli
No one’s at the counter
Just a sleeping cat
Grab their little sleeping cat and run
I grab the cat and run.
And I tell it
You will go
You know
You will go away
You’ll go away
You will go
Can’t you see
You will go away
You’re the same as me
We’re nothing.
I’ll call you Nothing.
I’ll call you Nothing.
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4. |
Serafina
03:57
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Sadie saw smoke curling up from the trees
Put on her coat and went outside to see.
A girl was feeding leaves and branches
To a pile burning debris and dancing.
Sadie said, “Got a nice fire tonight.
What’s your name if you don’t mind.”
She said, “My name is Serafina,
But people call me Sera to save some time.”
“Well, I’ve got all the time in the world.”
Sadie grabbed a stick and lit it while the girl
Said she’d been committed as a child.
Discovered her love for fire, ran wild.
In the asylum was a charming arson
Who broke out with his girl and started
Burning through Georgia like a moonstruck Sherman.
Sera knew what she wanted for sure then.
“People are who they are.” She said
“And I want their kind of love
Where you’re bad together and it’s good.”
Sadie said, “Let me grab some wood and booze
See if we can’t keep this thing alive till noon.”
Serafina
Shoots roman candles all around
Serafina
Smiling with matches in her mouth
Serafina
Wears a bright blazing crown of flowers and down
Serafina
Smell of gasoline in her hair
Serafina
Cinders glow as she blows cool air
Serafina
In her stare burns a solar flare
Months went by and they were happy.
Setting fire to trashed mattresses
Cars with tickets on their dashes
Mannequins scattered in tattered masses
Through the rundown mall.
They’d take pictures for their book
Rubbing the ash and soot
On each other’s skin till it turned gray
And pose like dying lovers from Pompeii.
In an overgrown lot
They fucked till it got too hot.
Lying on top of a burning blanket.
They hopped up and stood there naked.
Smoking cigarettes and coughing.
Sera threw her lighter in. Heard it popping.
“We gotta keep it up, Sadie. No stopping.”
“We gotta keep it up, Sadie, we’re not stopping.”
They watched as the wind caught.
The fire spread a little further and died off.
Sadie said, “I’m gonna buy us an old house
In a big town. Where we can start a life
and burn it all to the ground.”
Serafina
Shoots roman candles all around
Serafina
Smiling with matches in her mouth
Serafina
Wears a bright blazing crown of flowers and down
Serafina
Throws firecrackers at their feet
Serafina
They start dancing. Dancing while they sing
Serafina
Throws her dress in the flames
Serafina
Black sequins writhing
Black sequins shine
Serafina
They sing,
“We’ll never die.”
Serafina
“We’ll burn and cry. We’ll never die.”
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5. |
Death Croons
04:08
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Death orders a drink.
“Something pink
With cherries and a sugar rim,” he says
“Make sure its sweet.”
He grabs his wallet
From his shirt pocket
And two gold teeth
Clink in his empty glass.
He rattles them and laughs.
An older woman
In a stained sundress
Sits down right next to Death and says,
“You got some fucked up eyes
But they seem wild.”
Death takes off his glasses
And smiles as she flashes
A big bag full of blow.
Saying, “Tonight’s so slow.
Wish this place would explode.”
He says,
“I, I am not your kind.”
“Come on, baby, lets have some fun.”
“Come on, baby, lets have some fun.”
“You’ll see when you see me in the light.”
“Come on, baby, lets have some fun.”
“Come on, baby, lets have some fun.”
He puts his glasses back on
Sees a lighting bug blinking,
Flipping around in her hair.
He flicks it on the bar and stares.
She says, “I never see these things.
Not around here.
Not this time of year.”
Then she drowns it with her beer.
Death’s face lights up
As she plucks
Each of its struggling wings
And says, “I hear they’re all dying.
City light’s too confusing.”
Death’s crooning:
“I, I am not your kind”
“Come on, baby, lets have some fun.”
“Come on, baby, lets have some fun.”
“You’ll see when you see me in the light.”
“Come on, baby, lets have some fun.”
“Come on, baby, lets have some fun.”
He looks at her dress. Thinks about wearing it. Tearing its seams.
Stretching it on his fat body till the stain settles over his heart.
But there’s other relics in the trunk of his car.
Countless years of collecting. Keeping his favorites close.
This filthy flower print dress would fit in nice, though.
He drains his cosmo and says, “It’s been a pleasure but you gotta know.”
“I, I am not your kind”
“Come on, baby, lets have some fun.”
“Come on, baby, lets have some fun.”
“You’ll see when I feel that it’s your time”
“Come on, baby, lets have some fun.”
“Come on, baby, lets have some fun.”
And what she said echoes
“I’ll be in the bathroom, waiting.”
As he drives away
“I’ll be in the bathroom, waiting.”
Fly squirming in a web
“I’ll be in the bathroom, waiting.”
As he drives away
“I’ll be in the bathroom, waiting.”
Puts a blonde wig on his head
“I’ll be in the bathroom, waiting.”
As he drives away
“I’ll be in the bathroom, waiting.”
Laughing like a pig squeals
As he turns around
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6. |
Stay Cruel
05:19
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I hadn’t dreamed in years.
My nights had become lonely jump-cuts to morning.
Then I saw Miracle dance.
Pulled from my dream by a siren.
The kind of fantasy I’d spend my life in
Where she made me skin my knees at her shrine then
She kicked me in the teeth for my crying.
Hooked me on a leash and then she tied it
Tightly to a tree where her little dogs piss.
On a night like this
When a dream of her is ripped away
I close my eyes and say:
Try to stay cruel for me.
Cruel for you, baby
Cruel for you, honey
Just for another minute.
Try to stay cruel for me.
Cruel for you, baby
Cruel for you, honey
Though I don’t deserve it.
Try to stay cruel for me–
Cruel for you, baby
Cruel for you, honey
One night, I watched her pulling bits of wig from her braces
After she’d cleared all the bills from the stage.
I nearly approached her then until I saw her face,
Almost grateful, in the mirrored-wall
And I wished it would fall and shatter.
Tonight I’ll try again.
Grab the cash I’ve been saving.
Hobble to the club and start waiting.
Drink a few to keep my courage from waning
As she pounces on the pole and starts her flailing.
I’m soaked in sweat. My chest is aching.
The metal on her teeth flashes like a beacon.
I wave my cash at the stage.
She smiles, touching my hand.
I recoil and say:
Try to stay cruel for me.
Cruel for you, baby
Cruel for you, honey
No smiles, No mercy.
Try to stay cruel for me.
Cruel for you, baby
Cruel for you, honey
Can’t take no more pity.
You gotta stay cruel.
Cruel for you, baby
Cruel for you, honey
Just like when I’m dreaming.
Try to say something cruel.
Cruel for you, baby
Cruel for you, honey
Or I’ll be lost. Please.
You put that cash in my hand I’ll be cruel for you.
Cruel for you, honey
I’m ready. I’m your limping slave.
Come on you weak little man I’ll be cruel for you.
Cruel for you, honey
No kindness. No tenderness. Just cruel.
You put that cash in my hand I’ll be cruel for you.
Cruel for you, honey
Try to stay cruel.
I want to taste that meanness you sing about.
Come on you weak little man, I’ll be cruel for you.
Cruel for you, honey
Try to stay cruel. For me.
I want your leather, your steel, your heavy heel.
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7. |
Ben & Lily
03:41
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It was a humid summer
Of diseased mosquitoes and heat strokes.
I was working on an assembly line until school started up
And that’s where I met Ben.
“I’m a Eunuch,” Ben said
“I was in my prime when they cut me down.
They were tired of me chasing their daughters,
Burning their precious mill to the ground.”
“They got me–”
“When I stole Mr. Beck’s corvette
His yapping Shih Tzu riding shotgun.
I parked it in the lake and learned to swim.
Then I was too worn out to run.”
“Met Lily in the Milledgeville Asylum.
They fixed her the same as me.
She’s my halfwit infertile beauty.
They cut us both down like rotten trees.”
“But we were blooming,” Ben said
“I broke us out and stole a ring.”
Still see them when I’m sleeping.
In dreams, when I’m tired and alone.
Lily’s smiling, picking bugs off of the altar.
And a rose pinned to Ben’s blood-soaked tuxedo.
Last time I saw Ben,
Blood rolled down the conveyor belt.
He was injured bad but still working
Swearing he’d send some guy to hell.
Ben said, “I don’t mind he shot me.
If I’m being honest, I deserved it.
But what he did to my sweet Lily
She don’t deserve that one bit.”
Looking in Ben’s eyes, I knew he meant it.
And I realized I was a coward.
Next day I heard those cheap apartments
Near the river had burned down.
A few people died.
And Ben was long gone.
In my dreams they watch the fire.
Their twin gold teeth gleam like polished guns.
See them on the highway, her toes tapping on a suitcase
In a new corvette Ben’s aiming at the sun.
I dream they’re on the run.
Always driving towards the sun.
I always dream they’re on the run.
They’re driving straight for the burning sun.
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8. |
Made for Me
04:21
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I watch you cry again
In the only bar tonight that’s slow.
Wearing the dress I met you in
All those years ago,
Now
You say,
“If there is a Hell
That’s where you’ll be.
Consumed by pain you’ve never felt
But you’ve caused in me.”
Lit cigarettes will rain
As you feed my bones to hungry strays
You’ll kiss each one and give them names
Using my ribs for little games
Try to read some stranger’s thoughts
Through his piss-drunk, pale-eyed stare.
Then I order another shot
And start to pet your hair.
“There, there.”
You plucked me out of the wind
Like some insect whirling by.
Though I’ve never stopped stinging
You kept me alive.
Lit cigarettes will rain
On a field where horses roam untamed
See you running with them through the flames
Wild flowers in their manes
As you lead the stampede my way
Or maybe it’s shivers and snow
An ocean of icet on frostbitten toes
Where whales sing their sad songs beneath my feet
And a girl with long dark hair
Glides between them with ease
When Death comes driving through
Saying, “Son, take a seat.”
I’ll say, “Only if you’re headin’ to
The Hell she made for me.”
Your cigarettes will rain
Burning holes into my face
I’ll hold out my tongue like an ashtray
Try to taste your lips through the pain.
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9. |
Sweat
03:56
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Well I saw John in a vision
Years after he died.
I asked what it’s like to stop living.
He said, “It’s a look in your eye.”
Then he moved in slow-motion.
Said, “It’s kind of like that too.
Death is what you make it
But you’ll find that out soon.”
No halo
No wings
Just seventeen
With a sheen of nothing
Connor’s mom wore a
Bandanna on her head.
Frail and tired, but still smiling
Though she rarely left her bed.
One day she called us in
Put Old Yeller on TV
And we watched it both wishing
We were outside climbing trees.
When the kid shot his dog
She fixed Connor’s hair and said,
“Though it doesn’t seem fair,
Sometimes love’s interrupted by death.”
Near the end KC said, “Son, no savior will return.
And his daddy ain’t waiting for us.
See what happened to Irene after years at the church.
Ain’t no Good Book keep maggots away from their lunch.”
The last words he said to his nurse were,
“Pray for me.”
Ed reclined on a frozen body for a smoke.
His friend stepped onto a landmine
And Ed’s uniform got soaked.
His eyes lingered on the cigarette in his hand
And he ashed it with his new finger
The doc cut from a dead man.
He told me nights were so black
It’s like you passed to the other side.
You’re not sure if you’re alive
Till you feel the sweat burn your eyes.
At her place after working a late shift at the bar
Drunk and mad at the hot city night
She was scared, saying people got shot up on Starr.
I said, “Everything is alright.”
And it all seemed so suddenly sweet to me.
Even cleaning up rich tourist piss on my knees.
Kicking her hissing cat off of my feet I told her,
“We’re still sweating.”
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10. |
Machete
05:17
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There’s a clearing behind her mother’s house
On the other side of Silver Creek.
We’d drink cheap, cherry vodka there late at night.
Her dog, Lobo, at our feet.
Crystal was younger than me, but much tougher
With a dark smile on her lips.
She looked so pretty laughing in my puckered face
When I pulled up her skirt a bit.
Lobo took off.
She said, “You catch that hound I’m yours.”
So I ran
Through the trees
Chasing sounds
Deep into the darkness
Then I fled
And took Crystal to her room.
Turned off all the lights.
I closed the curtains to the sickle moon.
Said, “There’s a strange man outside.
He was out there swattin’ lighting bugs
On his greasy face and body.
I could just make out two big pale eyes staring
Through streaks of glowing green
His pig-face grinnin’ mean.”
Her smile
Fell away
And she said,
“Thought I was goin’ crazy.
I’ve seen him too.
And I can’t take it anymore.
I can’t take it.
Every night
I see him in the window.
Those big pale eyes.”
I stole a machete
Hacked up small animals for practice
Even when I found Lobo tied in a knot
No one believed us
Weeks later
I was patrolling the woods
Red lights flashing through the branches
I dropped the machete
Ran to her house
And saw two cop cars and an ambulance
Lighting bugs glowing in the breeze
And I fell to my knees
It’s been years now.
I moved to the city
To get lost in the trash
Like one of many fruit flies.
And I found my wife, Claire.
So full of life, so wild,
With a smile beyond compare.
And our first child is
Kicking strong inside her.
But sometimes I swear
I look at her face and I see Crystal hiding in there.
The way her lips pout
When she’s brushing her hair.
I see her everywhere.
I tried my best to lose her.
How I got lost in bars spilling into streets.
Too drunk to dream.
Can’t dream or I’ll see him choking Crystal with her sheets
And grinning mean.
Now, it seems
Like violence is a mist
Slowly creeping from the past.
And I can’t help but feel
He’s coming back for me.
Just last week,
An old machete was found
Lodged in some young cop’s gut.
Right on our street.
Where I could hear him suffering.
And I recalled a possum
Still trying to run
Though I’d cut its head clean off.
Same as me, I thought,
Fleeing home when I knew damn well he’d never stop.
Because I saw those eyes.
And tonight,
As I patrolled the halls
Checking all the windows, I saw
The green glow of a lightning bug.
Kissed Claire’s sleeping lips and grabbed my gun.
Not gonna run.
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